Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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