If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
