she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
