so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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