We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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