you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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