I need to stop coming to work sober
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
