This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I want to fling myself into the sun
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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