i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
