Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
