My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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