Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
