is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
