Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
