Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
