i think my mom watched the whole time
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
