Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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