so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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