I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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