I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
