At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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