forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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