She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
