There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
