VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
