apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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