so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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