are you still at the devil's house?
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
