I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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