I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
