How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
