they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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