I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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