When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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