You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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