i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
