And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
