i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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