So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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