I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Randomize
