I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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