Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
