your room smells of hookers.
And success
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just cut my nipple shaving
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
