Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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