I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
