No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
