Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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