Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
