Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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