I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I deserve this hangover.
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