It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
