Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
